Effortless Networking Reconnecting With Past Contacts

Writen by Sri Dasgupta

Do you believe in coincidences? Well, as I was writing this article, I got an email from past colleague.

The last time we "talked" was by email 2 years ago. And yet, when I got her email today, I was delighted to hear from her (even though she was writing to ask me for something).

We lose touch with people all the time -- in our professional lives and personal lives -- for various reasons.

For example, this year, with the birth of our second baby, followed by our relocation across the country, along with my involvement in completing my book I haven't been able to stay in touch with many people. After all, there's only so much time in the day!

Then, when it comes time to reconnect, many people feel awkward about it. And many people don't reconnect just because of that sense of awkwardness.

However, reconnecting can be delightful -- just like I was delighted to hear from my colleague earlier today.

And just like my past contacts are happy to hear from me, as I reach out to reconnect with them, now that things are beginning to get back to "normal".

So what allows people to reconnect with each other comfortably, even after long periods of silence?

• First, keeping in touch is a two-way street. If I've lost touch with someone, it means that *neither* of us have initiated contact with the other. In other words, it's not just *one* person's responsibility to keep in touch. So chances are, when I do initiate contact, the other person will be happy to hear from me -- especially, if we had a good relationship in the past.

  Of course, if we didn't have a relationship in the past, it's a different story -- and a topic for a future article.

• Second, whenever an opportunity arises, use it to reconnect. For instance, I'll use occasions like someone's birthday, or some event in my life (e.g. my farewell party) to reconnect. And when I do get in touch, I'll usually bring the person up to date with what's been going on with me (if they don't know already), so they have a sense of why I haven't kept in touch.

  Since most people are busy themselves, they usually understand and forgive the lapse.

  Again, the important thing to notice is that these are people with whom I had already built a relationship in the past. So I know their birthdays, and have an interest in their lives, as they do in mine.

So reconnecting with someone after a long time, even if you're doing so because you want something from the other person, can be completely free of any awkwardness, if

1. You have already invested the time earlier to build a relationship that can survive periods of little or no contact.
2. Both people in the relationship get something from keeping it alive, and therefore both people take responsibility to do so.

Check it out -- I think you'll find examples of these kinds of relationships in your own life.

Business relationships aren't any different.

(c) Copyright 2006, Srirupa Dasgupta Srirupa Dasgupta is the author of Effortless Networking: Everyday Wisdom to Transform your Business and Life. She helps small business owners, entrepreneurs and self-employed professionals build, sustain and leverage the professional and personal network that is necessary to succeed. For more information, visit her website at http://www.EffortlessNetworking.com