For professionals to succeed, visibility is the key. For those of you who are shy or reticent, and with busy lives we all lead, it is getting more difficult to develop connections with other people. The workplace has many obstacles to those who are shy, to the point that they prefer solitary work than working on projects with others.
For shy or introverted professionals, networking is a survival skill with which they need to cope. Shyness can become a barrier if you let it. However, networking is a skill you can learn.
The following tips can make dealing with your shyness easier, and take you and your business to the next level.
1. Take Small Steps.
Do not expect to master networking overnight. It takes time. Many introverts think they will wake up one day and become a powerhouse networker but this is usually not the case.
Just enter the world of networking one small step at a time. Add something new, such as one question to ask (discussed later in this article), at each subsequent event. Over time, it will become much easier.
2. Set Clear Goals.
Think first about what you want to accomplish in your life and your business. Then consider the alternative: What do you think would happen if you allow your shyness to continue and stop you from pursuing your dreams? Take the time to define your goals and write them down.
3. Prepare and Practice.
A key step to overcoming shyness is preparation and practice. Write down in advance some questions you think will stimulate and sustain a conversation. If you find yourself somewhat nervous when meeting someone new, try practicing what you are going to say with another person or even to yourself in the mirror. Then practice in an environment where you won't feel intimidated. Role-play with someone you feel comfortable with. This way, when you feel unsure of yourself, you will still have an idea of what you want to say and how you are going to say it. You may even want to write out some questions on 3x5 cards and read them before you attend the meeting or event.
4. Feel comfortable with yourself.
At times, you may find your reluctance to network results from feeling self-conscious. It may also inhibit your communication skills. Prior to attending a networking event, use the above skills and practice, practice, practice. This will actually help to reduce your anxiety and you will not feel as shy.
5. Attend events that have a purpose.
Use your positive skills and try to meet several people. You may find underneath it all, that you are not totally an introvert. You may find that after you are in a situation or at an event, you relax more. As a result, you gain more confidence and feel more secure about yourself. If you feel shy or nervous at these events, maybe you need to start on a smaller scale. Maybe go to your local home and garden show. There at least you can go and ask questions about various things you may need around your house and help develop your networking comfort level.
Before you decide that it is not worth talking to others or in attending a particular event, ask yourself, "What positive thing can I say that can make this encounter worthwhile to me?"
6. Turn your focus away from yourself.
When you are at a networking event, instead of feeling embarrassed about having someone ask things of you, switch the focus of the conversation onto the other person. Ask a question that makes the other person give a response (rather than a yes/no question). Introduce yourself to others. Ask a question to the other person or persons.
Ask questions like:
• What business are you in?
• That is very interesting - tell me about it.
• What do you do there?
• How did you get into your business?
• How is your industry doing (if the other person is in another field)?
For those who do not like to talk a lot with others, listening is just as important as talking when it comes to establishing good relationships with others. Most of the time, extroverts prefer having someone listen to them talk. Just ask an open-ended question and sit back.
When you allow people to talk about themselves,they will be more likely to enjoy the conversation with you they will view your business in a positive light. To some extent, you are indirectly promoting your business. When they need someone with your products or services, they will remember what a good listener you were. And depending on how comfortable you feel, you may find yourself introducing someone you just met to others.
7. Reward Yourself.
Prior to attending a networking event, decide what reward you are going to give yourself for speaking/introducing yourself to at least three to five people and for staying longer than you plan. And be sure you withhold the reward if you do not meet your goal.
The bottom line is that the more you network or meet others, the more confident you will become. In turn, the more confident you feel, the less shyness will be in your way. And the closer your dreams and goals will be to becoming reality.
Neal Burgis, Ph.D. is the founder and CEO of Burgis Successful Solutions, an executive coaching firm. Neal has 18 years of experience helping people with their goals and performance. He specializes in executive coaching on work balance issues of performance, leadership development, and improving skills, as well as being a sounding board. Dr. Burgis is a National Certified Psychologist and a Certified Executive Coach. He is available to help with your coaching needs either in person or via telephone coach consultations at your convenience.
For more information, you can visit his website at http://www.successful-solutions.com or contact Neal at 602-405-2540 or nburgis@successful-solutions.com
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